Se on patentoitu, joten se toimii

Yhdysvaltojen patenttitoimistolla ei mene oikein hyvin. Vuonna 2006 he hyväksyivät tällaisen asian.

Seinien läpikävelyn opetussysteemi

This invention is a training system which enables a human being to acquire sufficient hyperspace energy in order to pull the body out of dimension so that the person can walk through solid objects such as wooden doors.

Tämä jos mikä osoittaa, ettei kannata olla kovin vaikuttunut kun jotain tuotetta markkinoidaan "patentoituna". Patentilla turvataan vain oikeudet johon metodiin ja härpäkkään, jotta muut eivät pääse heti repimään siitä voittoja. Tämän kyseisen hyperavaruusenergiaan perustuvan metodin kuvaus on seuraava:

Luodaan iso kangas jossa on useita jalanjälkiä. Kangas asetaan maahan. Luodaan säännöllinen äänisignaali (1 sek välein). Kankaan päällä otetaan askeleita jalaljälkien opastuksella, jokaisen äänimerkin kohdalla.

Tietenkin mukana on laskutoimituksia, joilla määritellään kankaalla tepastelevan henkilön massa. Vähän tiedettä, nääs.

Kehittäjä John Quincy selittää enemmän keksintönsä sisällöstä ja taustoista:

A human being is a hyperspace energy being living in a physical container or body that is comprised of 67% water. This high percentage of water makes this invention possible. Referring to FIG. 1, the hyperspace energy being receives energy from our dimension through seven vortices that run the length of the body. Each vortex connects to a separate hyperspace dimension having its own particular frequency. This arrangement allows for the development of seven modular energy components corresponding to the mind, spiritual eye, voice, body, abdomen, plasma energy ball (battery), and ground connection.

...

Different people, as tested by the pendulum on the hand vortex, have different vortex sizes. Three people were tested. The first person had almost no rotational movement showing very little energy. The second person had a vortex radius of one inch. Another had a vortex radius of four inches which covered his entire hand. The latter also has the ability to lift another human being, lying prone on a table, off the table by flowing low-density hyperspace energy into the person through the hand vortices. He has also experienced walking through a solid wooden door with a dog at his side. What this means is that there is a way, as described in this invention, of creating large energy vortices which will enable a person to acquire sufficient energy to walk out of dimension through solid objects such as wooden doors.

Joku on kuulemma onnistunut kävelemään ovien läpi. Nimittäin 1500-luvulla dominikaanimunkki nimeltä San Martin de Porres.

Researching the historical records, referring to the statue in FIG. 3, a humble black Catholic Dominican friar of the Santo Rosario Convent, by the name of San Martin de Porres, living in Peru in the 1500's, also developed this ability to walk through doors. For his beatification, many witnesses came forward to recount his extraordinary abilities. For example, a witness, who worked in the Convent, went to the cell of San Martin to ask for something to eat. When he reached the cell, he saw San Martin leaving with some medications apparently to heal someone sick. The witness waited by the open door of the cell for his return. After having waited awhile without being distracted by anything else, he saw said venerable brother fray Martin come out from his cell from the inside and call him by name. The witness was terrified, not understanding how this was possible.

Quincy rahaa mukaan myös Einsteinin suhteellisuusteorian, mutta en jaksa lukea tekstiä sen pidemmälle. Aivan lopussa luvataan ehkä enemmän kuin pitäisi:

In summary, the purpose of the training system is to substantially increase the energy of a human being who will then have the capability of walking through walls, body levitation, instantaneous healing of infections, full-body teleportation to another location, remote viewing at vast distances in terms of light-years, and looking into hyperspace co-dimensions. The third test subject and I have been able to experience all the above phenomena. He did it through augmenting his energy, and I have done it through the application of electromagnetic fields, by spinning on my vortex accelerator machine and using this invention.

Levitaatiota, tulehdusten parantamiset hetkessä, teleportaatiota, kaukonäkemistä valovuosien päähän ja hyperavaruusulottuvuuksiin kurkistelua. Huisaa. Quincy ja kumppani ovat kuulemma toistaneet kaikki nämä ilmiöt kokeissaan. Valitettavasti he eivät ole käyneet nappaamassa Randin miljoonaa dollaria. Vielä kerkiäisi.

"Toiset tietävät sydämessään. Toiset ajattelevat päällään"

- Stephen Colbert