Stephen Colbert lainauksia

Näin raskaan aiheen jälkeen tekee mieli jotain kevyempää. Siksi tallennan tekstimuodossa Stephen Colbertin sutjautuksia.

"Michael Moore's new film critizices our health care system. I'd smack him down, but I sprained my wrist and my doctor can't see me for a month"

"This show is filmed infront of a live studio audience... as soon as someone removes that dead guy!"

"Is CNN sending subliminal messages, other than the things I see in Wolf Blitzer's beard?"

"Nation, we all remember the big issue which decided the mid-term elections. Say it with me!", Colbert.
"THE WAR!", yleisöstä
"Yes. Gay marriage", Colbert.

"Author Jared Diamond has a book that tells how a civilization succeeds. Yeah, I've read it. It's called the Bible."

"Secularism catches fire in Europe. Ooh, how I hope that's not a metaphore."

"More companies are cutting pensions. The good news is they are also cutting health insurance, so you won't live enough to be offended."

"Tonight, should athletes with prosthetics be allowed to compete in the Olympics, and if so, how will they inject the steroids?"

"Good point. I'm sorry. Nation, when I said torture, what I meant to say was 'enhanced interrigation techniques.' Nothing to worry about. It's just like upgrading to HD TV. You have to do it eventually."

"After all, you can say you're pro-torture all you want, but actions scream louder than words."

"Watch this show in a well ventilated area. My truth can be over empowering."