Sain henkilökohtaista sähköpostia

Vastoin kaikkia sääntöjä kopsaan emailia tänne kokonaisuudessaan ja nimen kera:

Hello Dear Chosen one,

Please excuse me for all the inconveniences my mail could cause you. I saw your profile and have the interest to contact you. Please even if we never knew before, I believe firmly that on the basis of the right of humanitarian assistance that a real confidence can arise from our communication and also a real partnership between us.

I am Miss Crystal Konan, the legitimate daughter of the director of cocoa exporting office here murdered by the rebel’s here because of the political crisis going on here since four years ago.

My father had deposited a consignment with a security company here containing the sum of $9.000, 000 USD (Nine million dollars USD) to allow him to conceive a project of investment at the end of his mandate here.

Regrettably the fate decided on it otherwise.

Today my major concern is to move out this sum outside here. Given that I am the only child and I have seriously suffered from the riggings and the harassments on behalf of the political opponents of my Father.

It is in this prospect that I contact you to please help me to move this heritage from the security company to your country.

Because of the political war and the hostilities in this country I seriously wish to leave from here and live the rest of my life in a more peaceful and politically more stable and quiet country. It is what justifies this demand.

I shall voluntarily agree on a good and appropriate percentage of this money as your compensation for your assistant as for what precedes.

I would like to count on your human, virtuous and professional qualities.
I look forward to receive your urgent responds.
Thanks for your care.

Yours sincerely
Miss Konan Crystal

Tämä on ensimmäinen näkemäni nigerialaiskirje, jossa on naisen allekirjoitus. Tosin en aina edes lue loppuun näitä, jos otsikkona on vain "Hello" tai muuta selvää roskapostiasiaa. Mukana on myös melkein runollinen vetoaminen ihmisen hyvyyteen ja rakentavaan kommunikaatioon. Mutaatioihin lukeutuu myös se, että tällä kertaa viestissä ei suoraan kerrota mitä tuo Crystalille annettu avustus oikein on. Tarvitseeko hän vain allekirjoituksen johonkin paperiin? Ehkäpä ennakkomaksua varojen siirtoon?

Lähetin vastauksen, jossa olen mitä halukkain ihminen auttamaan poloista neiti Crystallia. Lupaan rukoilla Crystalin puolesta aamun illoin. Se varmasti auttaa häntä. Toivottavasti olen vähintäänkin yhtä avulias kuin tämä herrasmies. Lisää avuliaita ihmisiä löytyy 419Eater-sivustolta.